Dementia at Fifty!

I read that earlier today and thought to myself, what does that mean? People can construe things so easily these days, then I thought about my situation and realized stepping up and doing what needs to be done from cutting the grass to taking the trash out, calling the plumber, shopping at Home Depot or the best so far for me to be classified as the “strongest man” is my Charley, he’s a rescue cat I got last July. He’s a manx; that means he is a bobtail all black wild-ass cat that I probably should have left alone! Our home wouldn’t be the same though, so far he has taught me that I can use kitchen tongs to rescue a harmless baby snake from my living room before it reaches the couch never to be seen again or the huge, and I mean tragically huge, tree frog slapping it’s wet feet down the hall can be trapped in a ziploc bag, or the beautiful cardinal family he annihilated while Larry was in the hospital in February didn’t stand a chance with he’s playfulness or maybe I didn’t return home soon enough to accept my gifts that day. I still come across red feathers that slipped behind something and make their way out. Of course, he taught me very early on than I can capture a lizard with or without its tail and release it safely. My most favorite “strongest man” moment came on a Wednesday morning before daylight. I was checking on Larry and noticed a black looking blob on the door frame of his bathroom, I thought at first it was a huge spider, for that I would have burned the house down, or a Cuban tree frog, but it was a BAT, squeaky, cut little brown bat, sleeping upside on the doorframe. I grabbed a latex glove, a small towel and the step stool and went to rescue him. He barked a little but allowed me to take him outside to a tree that he happily climbed up then flew away. I hope he made it back to wherever he needed to go before daybreak. I guess that’s the type of stuff that is making me a little stronger than the person I have always been, whether man or woman, doesn’t really matter, but I am tough! Besides that, 9.9999% of the time Larry would offer and miss the frog, spider, bug, etc., so I’ve learned and accepted.

Larry is recovering from cataract surgery; he has been feeling pretty good during the day and is so excited for the results! Next eye is scheduled for November, praying it goes just as well. These days, by early evening, sundowning is creeping in worse than ever. He’s so irritable about every single thing from being hot or cold to his chair not sitting right and where I am at, at all times. Sometimes he will be standing behind me in the kitchen and if I move ever so slightly, he’s right there, just so close. Some days it’s all too much, I’m so overwhelmed with life or lack of, it’s making me sad, not only for me but for him too.

The other day he asked me out of the blue if he was going to forget who I was. I didn’t understand at first why he was asking this question, but he went on to ask me about my stepdad. After my momma died, Dad #2 would call quite often and ask me when momma was coming home, his story was she went to the Dollar General to get cat food, milk, etc. and was coming by to see me on the way home, which was a normal thing she would do when she was alive. Dad #2 always thought she was taking way too long and would just call to check on her. For whatever reason, Larry was thinking about this and put two and two together. He told me he didn’t want to forget me, and he was scared. I’m losing my husband, my funny, hard-working husband is slowly slipping away with this terrible disease and it’s hitting me super hard lately. Give me critters, bugs, snakes any day and I will be strong, but this feeling of heartbreak leaves me breathless.

I sense we are moving into a new phase of this terrible disease; I can’t say exactly what that looks like, but it’s coming. We have an appointment with the neurologist next week to discuss medication changes to help with sundowning and paranoia, praying the new medication will ease Larry’s mind and simply have uninterrupted sleep at night.

I should also mention Larry spent October 1 – 5 in the hospital for Congestive Heart Failure yet again and of course that led to his chronic kidney disease becoming an issue and now we’re waiting for another heart procedure to be scheduled. The bottom portion of his heart isn’t strong enough to continue pumping fluid off of his lungs so this procedure will strengthen it and keep him out of the hospital so much. This was our third stay in the hospital this year, February was 15 days in hospital and 13 days in rehab, September was 1 week in hospital and now last this one. All I can say is every trip shows a decline mentally for him. Physically he’s giving it his all, but he hasn’t been able to return to outpatient therapy and that makes us both sad, we saw lots of improvement during that time, and I will ask his neurologist for another referral next week if he thinks he’s strong enough. We have all the information for him to continue this at home, but that is like trying to get a rambunctious 12-year-old boy to sit still and do his homework, it’s not happening!